I’m fucking sad and lonely, I’m feeling a complete wreck and an unwanted, negative and worthless piece of junk. And nothing and no one will ever fill that hole inside of me. And the more I’m trying to hold on and to fill that void, the more gets bigger. This is just so desperating and wearing and I’m tired of this. I don’t want to fight for anything anymore, I’m sick of everything.
I should stop getting attached to people this much and thinking of imaginary feelings of any kind they could have toward me. But I guess I’ll never learn. And I guess I’ll always have to feel worthless, empty and lonely.
“The absurd man will not commit suicide; he wants to live, without relinquishing any of his certainty, without a future, without hope, without illusions… and without resignation either. He stares at death with passionate attention and this fascination liberates him. He experiences the “divine irresponsibility” of the condemned man.”
I’m sick and tired of everything. I can’t, I just fucking can’t… I want to cry and I can’t even, I’m feeling way too empty and drained. I am always too much or not enough. I’m just trying to be me and it’s never the right thing to do.